‘Navigating the Waves of Pregnancy’ by Chrissy Storey, M.A., LCPC

I love being on or near the water. There is something sacred in seeing the ripples, listening to the waves and watching the colors ebb and flow. There is a level of trust that I must have in the water and a surrendering of control to how it moves.

I have found this same need to trust and surrender in my pregnancy as well. There is so much happening within my body that is outside of my control. This little baby growing inside me is doing so without me telling him to “grow an arm, create bones or make your heart valves”. He is growing, developing, and becoming a person who is ready to live in the outside world without any say from me.

While this is beautiful, it is also challenging. I must choose to trust the process happening within me. Trust baby is growing, and all his proper parts are doing their job. Feeling him kick, watching my belly move through his somersaulting and hearing his heartbeat all bring a bit more comfort in trusting that he is ok and everything is happening as we hope.

Along with a wonderful growing baby has also come nausea, pain, heartburn, exhaustion and several other physical difficulties. While medication, essential oils, nutrition and movement can subside some of these symptoms, I have found the greatest tool is my mind. Particularly the use of psychological flexibility which is rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

ACT focuses on helping people come to a place of acceptance in their current reality, establish their values and commit to making conscious decisions in line with those values. Throughout my pregnancy I have consistently chosen to accept my reality – the pain, discomfort and lack of control – and sit in its reality. I know the physical symptoms will not last forever, but as long as baby is inside there is minimal hope for improvement. And so, I sit in the tension of accepting the pain and trust it is for a season. I grieve the expectation of an “easy” or “fun” pregnancy and sit in the reality of where I am. Sitting in my reality has not decreased the actual pain, but my ability to cope every day has improved.

The waters of pregnancy have been choppy, difficult and unpredictable. Choosing to embrace and embody psychological flexibility has been like a kayak amidst these choppy waters. It has allowed me a sense of focus and control to choose to paddle onward. While these waters have been rough, I have found the beauty in them and in this season by accepting my reality. I choose to be fully present with them and with strength, focus, purpose, acceptance and commitment – continue to paddle through.